Don't Just "Fix"—Speak Life

Today's post is a reminder to myself more than anyone:

Words bring life. They also bring discomfort, even hurt.

As leaders for our families, teams, and churches, we are called to bring life into each circumstance, balancing grace and truth to accomplish that call. Not just in speaking with other people...

...but to ourselves, too.

The Problem with "Fixing"

The world we live in is obsessed with optimizing and fixing problems—some we didn't even know we had. (If I had a nickel for every new AI tool being advertised that would "solve" all my workflow issues... sheesh!)

From optimizing work to health, investing, and so on, "fixing" inundates our psyches to the point where we focus more on the "fix" than the task at hand.

And worship leaders/music directors are some of the people who almost always fall into this trap.

Think about it: It's our job to make sure things "go right." Cues, chords, hooks, entrances... everything has to run smooth, and the slightest deviation can derail the entire endeavor. So, we're often quick to catch the red flags and correct course. Yet, we are not as quick to "speak life" into those situations.

"Speaking life" is a pretty self-explanatory concept, but putting it simply: You give encouragement, praise, and positive recognition to someone, even when they've "pulled a doozy." I've talked about this before, but one of the best ways you can speak life is compliment, give course correction, and compliment again, like a "compliment sandwich."

But how do we go beyond this?

Speaking From Overflow

The words that leave your mouth are born from your thinking, which is influenced by what you listen to and view. For a guy like myself, I'm always "learning"; it doesn't matter if it's for work or just pure interest. More often than not, the algorithm for my various social media feeds puts "optimization" content in front of me; it all points for a desire to answer the question: "How can I make this BETTER?"

The result? I'm usually quick to "fix" in my regular conversations, rehearsal times, etc. Where I've been convicted lately is that my words need be seasoned more with the Word, rather than the influencer who's really trying to sell something or build their personal brand.

This conviction comes on the heels of taking on additional duties in my music director position, and much of my communication has been more "procedural" over "pastoral." (I know, I'm not a "pastor," but it's still a type of "shepherding" position.) When facing additional tasks, I tend to be more "to-the-point," which leaves out "life"—where I take the time to affirm, encourage, and exhort the team beyond duties for an upcoming Sunday.

Instead speaking from an overflow of the Word and a mindset of encouragement, I'm carrying my task-oriented mindset into those interactions, because that's what is filling my thought life. To change it practically, here's what I'm implementing:

• Keep focus on what needs to be done. Carrying out responsibilities is key to faithful stewardship, so don't throw those out!

• Bring attention to the Scriptural focus for the upcoming Sunday and share some brief snapshots about what has me excited for it.

• Give shout-outs to other folks involved who will be featured, and who are putting much time and effort into serving our church.

These are great places to start, but there's another important aspect of "overflow" and "speaking life" that is vital to maintaining energy, focus, and joy in the work: speaking life to YOURSELF.

The Self Talk

Outside of music ministry, I'm actively involved in recovery, both as a participant and leader in various capacities. I regularly attend recovery meetings and spend time in small groups. It's led to exploring other areas of "self knowledge" that have been game-changing in my walk with the Lord, my emotional/internal health, and doing life with others.

This work has revealed my tendency to self-criticize, which affects my mood and subsequently, my interactions with others, where I'm more apt to "fix" than to speak additional "life" into them.

The Lord is still sanctifying me in this, but it's been helpful to do the following:

• Stay grounded in the Word—it is the ultimate source of life and wisdom.

• Speak the Word over situations—whether celebrating, problem solving, or needing a soothing touch.

Beyond those things, in the moment when I make mistakes, my frustration comes out with exasperation, whether physically or verbally. Things like, "Derek, come on, man! Let's get it together!" are reflections of a constant inner monologue where I'm doing my best to "get it right." Instead, what is more helpful is to turn that inner monologue to model how I would speak to my children: "Ah, let's try again. Remember, here's what we need to do..."

Really, it's treating myself with more compassion, and when I'm able to treat myself with compassion, it leads to a greater pursuit of joy in the Lord and then overflows into my relationships.

TL;DR

So if you're in a spot right now where you are facing:

• Burnout in work

• Tension in relationships

Then take some time to reflect on where you can speak life into these situations, where you source the "life," and how you can be aligned in you highest calling: to glorify God and enjoy Him in all you do.

Be blessed 👊✌️